Facing the Fear of Death -
Glimpsing the Purpose of Life
Our Ego exists by grasping on its assumption and belief about its reality based on its self-centred perception, desires, fears and conditionings. We have discussed quite a bit about the Ego perception and desires in the first part. And when we started being able to recognise the Ego and become more detached from its perception and desires, we will now need to face and overcome its fears. The deepest fears of the Ego are changes/ uncertainty, and the fear of Death.
When we are facing changes and uncertainty, such as moving to a new town, having a new boss, losing jobs or having a new one, challenges at work, ups and downs in relationships, going through a test or exam, etc, most of us would feel anxious and uncomfortable at some level, more or less depends on each person. That’s the Ego being edged out of its comfort zone and its controlling power. Even though this kind of anxiety and discomfort on each event of changes would seem settle and go away when the changing process completed, we don’t seem to be completely free of anxiety for long or at all as changes always happen in one or more areas in our lives.
Anyway, this fear of changes and uncertainty most of us are still able to manage even with lots of discomfort.
How about Death?! Why most of humanity on Earth fears Death?
Let’s see how the Ego feel!
“Is it Death something we don’t normally think about (and even avoid talking about) in our lives?
. Yes, we don’t talk much about the death of someone as it makes ourselves or somebody sad as thinking of the loss, grievance or regret.
How about our own Death?!. Why don’t we talk or think about our own Death?! (earlier than when we actually have to prepare for our Death when we get too old or when Doctors tells us that we only have only a few years or months left!)
. Because we don’t like to talk or think about it, we feel uncomfortable/ unease.
Why do we feel uncomfortable or don’t like talking or thinking about our own Death?
. We are alive, why talking or thinking about something negative like Death.
Why is Death negative?
. Because Death is the end of Life, the end of everything, so it is negative
Have you experienced Death to make the assumption that it is the end of Life and of everything? and why is it negative if it was an actual ending?! Is the end of a song or a movie or even a civilisation in history all negative by default?
. No, but for example the end of a job is negative as then we have to find a new job which is not easy, or the end of a day is negative if we have a lot of unfinished jobs and the deadline is coming…
So the negativity comes from the anxiety about the uncertainty of what comes next rather than the Ending of the things itself?!
If thinking about Death is actually negative, it wouldn’t be more negative than any other negative thinking that we endeavour in everyday life.
. But thinking about Death is not relevant to our life and our businesses in life.
Why is it irrelevant to us? we would eventually die sooner or later at some point in Life.
. But It is not a relevant topic at the moment.
So when? Does that mean it is relevant only when we are dying?
How could we be so sure if it is not happening Now or the Next Minute, or Tomorrow?
Are you anxious, scared when thinking about Death?
. Probably Yes...!”
Death is the deepest fear of Ego because it is the moment when Ego looses its grips all-at-once, all labels, possessions, status, etc, everything, even the body!
We have discussed that only when we get the Ego out of the way, we would be able to see more clearly our Life Purpose and Live our Life Purpose without interference of the Ego. So is it Death seems to be the best time to realise our Life Purpose as it is also the Death of the Ego or when Ego looses all its control?!
I want to share with you a short story of a friend of mine...
"That day, she was driving home after work, on the usual busy highway... The rain suddenly fell heavily, it was at the dusk. The combination of heavy rain, darkness, vehicles lights made it so difficult to see clearly...
Suddenly, at one bend, a van from the other side of the road went straight into her car, she wasn't sure it was the van or her car came off its lane... She saw the lights coming at her front and heard a loud crashing noise when the van hit her car... At that very moment, in just split a second, she believed that she were going to die... And at that very moment there were 2 flashes of thoughts went through her mind before everything went quiet and blank like a deep sleep:
. The first one was that: she wished she did not had the argument with her parents that morning, she wished she had spent all the time she'd had in life to fully love them.
. The second one was that: she wished she could have had more time on Earth to Love: Love the sunshine, the air, the water, the soil, the plants, the animals, love the family, friends, and All humanity...; and to Share with other people what she had realised at that moment: that we are here because of Love and for Love.
She woke up in the hospital bed a few days afterward, safe and sound..."
We do not need to wait until the moment of Death or facing such an intense testing moment to be forced to face Death, do we?
Death is inevitable and a natural process of every living thing in the Universe. Just as the trees shed their leaves in autumn, so that new buds and new leaves would come out in spring time. Death makes Life possible and it is a necessary renewal process, also Death gives Life a sense of emergence of fulfilling a meaningful purpose.
Facing the fear of Death is definitely unpleasant experience, but so often we human beings only realise true value of something when we are loosing it, so by contemplating Death, we would be able to glimpse the Meaning and Purpose of our Life.
Let’s spend 3 minutes carefully answering the following questions in the situation as if:
You were going to Die...
In 3 minutes!
What would you wish that you would have done before this moment of Death?
What would you wish for if you were Now granted one wish? just one wish! and explain properly the reasons why you wish for that!!
Spend a moment, think, and write down your own answers, seriously and honestly!
And Now look back!
You can now carry on with your Life and you'd better do what you have answered at question 1 as you still can and have chance to do those things as you’re alive!
And the answers at question 2 have revealed at least the first few layers of your Life Purpose!
If you come back to these questions again and again, gradually with this Thinking about Death practice over a period of time, the answers for each question would be shorten by each time you come back to them, and eventually emerged in just a few words, you will know when you find it - your Ultimate Life Purpose which has always been with you since you were born and ever before, which will be with you through this lifetime, at the moment of Death and ever beyond Death!
Glimpsing your Life Purpose is one first step, to really live a meaningful life in which you're aligned with and serve your Life Purpose, much more on-going work needs to be carried out.
In this blog I try to outline some (but not limited to) suggestions that I believe necessary and that every one of us must work on, they are: working with Archetypes, Shadow work, De-conditioning, Healing the Inner Child, and Learn to Trust in the Universe, these work would assist you to break through and step out of the karmic circle when going through Ego Death and eventually come to Resurrection of the True Self.
Read on the next Articles.